phoebe tan
born 8 Oct '86UOL BSC-Biz
full time undergrad
enjoys retail therapy, tanning, dance, good food, travel, adventure, tennis, chilling... love my life!
wishes...
be slim * cartier love * new dunks * music keyboard *february rumblingx...
7th pre-departure party~11th ByeByeBobby~
14th Valentine's Day
previous rumblingx...
december 2009 * january 2008 * november 2008 * october 2008 * september 2008 * august 2008 * july 2008 * june 2008 * may 2008 * april 2008 * march 2008 * february 2008 * january 2008 * december 2007 * november 2007 * october 2007 * september 2007 * august 2007 * july 2007 * june 2007 * may 2007 * april 2007 * march 2007 * february 2007 * january 2007 * december 2006 * november 2006 * october 2006 * september 2006 * august 2006 * july 2006 * june 2006 * may 2006 * april 2006 * march 2006 * february 2006 * january 2006 * december 2005 * november 2005 * october 2005 * september 2005 * august 2005 * july 2005 * june 2005 * may 2005 * april 2005 * march 2005 * february 2005 * january 2005 * december 2004 * november 2004 * october 2004
Friday, December 03, 2004
it's jux so hard...
why izzit that i sometimes dun try hard enuf and sometimes i jux try too hard... the more i try the worse it gets... probably i'm jux plain lousy... jux dunno how to do things the right way... i wanna help.. i wanna share wadever u feel( yes i'm feeling how bad it is).. i want u to feel better... i want u to know there's some1 here for u... some things that's said can have a sour feeling in the heart... like a hand jux gripped it tight and not letting gO... haiz... all i do is keep apologising but that makes it irritating and things got even worse... how can i do it the right way? maybe i'm jux a nuisance... burden... and yes i dun feel good at all... even can tear becox of it... all becox i feel that i cant make things better... how to comfort somebody? how to cheer somebody up? all these i ask myself.. den i try.. but i failed... and it is my fault... some things come back and repeat.. haunt.. and it goes on again... seriously i hate it... i hate wad i dO... how i cause things to be... i dun wanna jux run away.. i wanna face it and try again to solve.. but i end up making things worse than b4.. wad am i tO do?"izzit difficult to let some1 hear from u every now & then?" this i ask myself.. and it's not difficult.. not at all.. jux that sometimex u jux wun realise that u are not doing enuf...
well.. it jux becomes a habit to haf somebody to tok to every nite.. the mood might be still at times.. but still alrite... it becomes extreme when yest nite it was all abt fun and laughter and all of a sudden.. it jux turn sour the nxt nite... it's not only the 1 moddy feeling low but it also affects the other party.. especially when it's some1 so close to u... it jux catches u in shock and den all seems blured and u feel lost... try to make things better but yet it turns worse... it seems like it's all lost and complex... suddenly it feels toO much to handle and u jux stOp and breakdOwn... at this pOint of time when nObody's there.. u cry out in silent for some1... i need some1 badly nOw....*i need u...*
